This is for the woman who is done

Something is rising. Maybe it's you.

There comes a moment in life when life doesn’t make sense anymore. You’ve achieved significant milestones – you got the credentials, hustled your way up the career ladder and stood your ground in the corporate world. Now you’re there. You got the position you always wanted. People are impressed by your career. You made your parents proud. But inside, you feel empty, frustrated, maybe even depressed. You ask yourself: “Is that all there is?” “Is that what I worked for so hard?” “Is that what I will do for the rest of my life?”

What looks great from the outside often feels very different on the inside. Titles look good on a business card, but no one understands the pressure of meeting unrealistic expectations, navigating your boss's erratic episodes and dealing with colleagues who envy your position because no one is walking in your shoes!

While others envy your salary, you’re grinding 12 hours a day to fulfil someone else’s vision. You’re supporting a business that has no meaning to you. You represent company values that are not aligned with your inner self. You’re functioning, but the void inside of you is taking over more and more space until you feel that there’s nothing left of you.

I woke up one morning at 5 am in my apartment in Dubai and couldn't move my head. My cervical spine had completely locked up. I could neither turn left nor right. I knew immediately what had happened. The day before, I had my annual performance review. I was running the marketing department of a large hotel with almost 600 rooms and 13 restaurants and bars – I had two people. The sales team had 15.

One of my team members was my assistant; she wasn’t great at her job, but as the hotel wasn’t willing to pay an adequate salary, she was the best I could find. I had been searching for six months before I hired her. Knowing I would be back at doing it all by myself if I let her go, I held on to her. During my review, the General Manager blamed me for not firing her, for accepting “mediocrity”, where a leader should never accept “mediocrity”. At the same time, he had been running the property for years and was responsible for the crusty structures that had quietly built up over time, jeopardising my efforts every single day. The difference? He was the boss. While he pointed out my shortcomings, I fought back tears of anger. No word that I had taken over a position that was vacant for more than six months before I joined. Not even a little sign of appreciation for having turned the department around in no time. No acknowledgement that I had established structures for internal communications that didn’t exist before. No respect for getting media visibility with close to no budget. This wasn’t a review; this was an intentional neglect of my achievements, with the simple goal of keeping me small.

Now I sat there in my bed, in severe pain. The emotional stress of the day before had hit me right in the neck. Yet, being the responsible employee I was, I still attended a meeting at the corporate office, which meant a risky car ride and three endless hours of sitting on an uncomfortable and weirdly shaped designer chair, with flashes of pain shooting down my spine.

What followed were several months of chiropractic treatment that cost me dearly – in pain, time and money. As my company's insurance considered the treatment “preventative”, they refused to pay, so I was left to bear the cost. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was done.

Looking back, I am thankful this incident happened. It showed me the insanity of wasting my life trying to fit into someone else’s box. I did a great job, I was giving all I had, I presented endless ways to increase revenue, I treated this hotel as if it were mine – except, it was not.

That’s when it struck me. If I could put my heart and soul into a corporate job that didn’t even appreciate me, why not in my own business?

That thought never left me since. But change is easier said than done. It took me years to find myself again. Throughout my life, I had worn so many masks that I didn’t even know who I really was anymore. I had to try, fail, lose everything and get up again. The problem was that I was doing it alone. Talking to friends and family is nice for emotional support, but it often doesn’t get you anywhere. Despite meaning well, they knowingly or unknowingly influence you because they think they know what is good for you. But the only person who knows what is good for you is you, and what you need is a friend without an agenda.

So I created the space I wished had existed for me – to help women find their purpose and step into the work they were always meant to do. Women who are done grinding and hustling for organizations that would replace them in a second if they handed their notice tomorrow. Women who have a wealth of experience and are done giving it away to bosses who do not even see them. Women who have so much to give but don’t know where to start. Women who are stuck, confused and unsure how to get out of the corporate rat race and start a life that fulfils them. Women like you!

I can’t offer you an easy handout or a roadmap that leads straight to success. What I can offer you is a safe space to think, to get back to yourself, to see your value and to find your path.

If any of this feels familiar – if you recognise yourself somewhere in these words – I would love to hear from you. Simply reply to this letter. No pitch. No agenda. Just a conversation.

With love from the Bavarian Alps, Kathrin

This is the first of my Letters from the Alps. I write twice a month – honestly, without an agenda, for women who are ready to rise. If you know a woman who needs to read this, please pass it on.